Speaking the Language of Love: Touching

Love. It's a beautiful thing and it is what makes this world go around. Love is the reason God created this world, love is why a savior had to die, and love is what makes daily life worth living.Love is seen over and over in the Bible. The love of God for his children, the love of God for his son, the love of Christ for his church. Love. Yet, I don't think people truly understand love. Hollywood has cheapened love until it is nothing more than something people think they fall in and out of. Love is a choice. True love is unconditional. True love is more than Bella "loving" Edward.

What if it was possible to truly grasp what love was? The life altering, marriage changing, child rearing different kind of love. Oh I am not there yet, but I am trying. I am striving to love my husband with the kind of love that God has for me and I am doing my very best to give my kids the kind of unconditional love that they crave.

In order to love those in our life with that real, true kind of love it becomes necessary to understand what kind of love someone needs. It's so important to understand someone's love language. For me, if you really want to make me feel loved make is obvious that you want to spend time with me. I CRAVE quality time. If you can't do that, tell me how well I did cleaning house or that you appreciate me. Those are my two biggest love languages. My husband enjoys it when I do things for him, or when I surprise him with cookies at his work. Drew likes gifts and Alynn is my little snuggle bug who craves touch. We all speak a different language, but that doesn't mean we don't need the others. And I am still learning about how to best meet each person's needs, and it isn't easy but it is worth it!

So, part one of my little love series: touch.

Touch. Such a powerful thing. Thing of a mother's comforting hand on a new born babies back. The compassionate touch of a doctor.  The loving caress of a partner. The old knotty hands of grandma fixing your hair. The slap of congratulations for winning a game. The bear hug when you see an old friend. The shoulder to cry on when your world is ending. I could go on, but you and I both know it is powerful.

I have never been a touchy feeling kind of person. In fact growing up I hated it. I am afraid my poor little brother suffered my anger because of my severe lack of wanting to touch, and it was his big love language. (sorry Nick!)

It wasn't really until I met Naythan that I learned to really crave it. We have been married for almost 5 years, and I truly think touching each other is one of the simple keys to having a healthy marriage. Even if it is a simple hug between chasing kids, holding each others hand while watching tv, or falling asleep with his arms wrapped around me. It makes me feel safe, secure, and that he wants me. And I know that taking an extra 5 minutes before bed to scratch his back can be the difference between restful sleep and waking up all night long. Our marriage is stronger when we are hugging, kissing and being in each others "Bubble". We NEED it. It feeds us on a deeper level and creates a bond that is not easily broken. It makes us feel loved.

My kids crave that same physical connect with me. Letting them sit in my lap while I read them a book makes them so happy and they fight to take up the most room. Alynn comes up to us all day long wanting hugs and kisses, Drew seeks me out when he is sad to sit on my lap, Alynn asks for back rubs, and sometimes I just sneak kisses because they are so dang kissable. And I crave it from them. They are so little still that they can not tell me thank you for cleaning house, but when I put up Christmas lights to scare away the dark in there room and am rewarded with a big hug from Drew it is all worth it. Tickling is a favorite pass time in my house. And hugs are given generously.

Humans were created needing sensations. It's just apart of our makeup. Having a kid with sensory needs I have learned how to touch him in just the right way to send all those conflicting emotions and sensations running; to apply pressure in just the right way he becomes grounded again. It is SO important for him.

I guess all this to say don't be afraid to touch those you love. Don't hold back. A simple hug can express more than words can ever say. Give your husband a massage, he will appreciate it. Let your baby snuggle up on your lap. Sure, you may have dishes to do but they need it just as much as you do. Don't make up reason why you can't spend on extra moment to give your kid a kiss. It's worth it and it can open a whole new understand of how to love!

 

 

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