Times of Peace.

Growing up I always had a vision of my life as a grown up. It involved an amazing man, kids, a nice house, a job I love, and a dog.

I woke up the other day, took my kids to school, came home for a conference call and realized as I sat in my pretty new house (pictures are coming soon!) that I am living that fairy tale. When did this happen?

It feels like ever since Nayt got his new job things have just been good. We actually discussed that yesterday driving home from our trip to the dog park. We are truly living the ideal middle class life. Two cars, two kids, two incomes, a dog... And we are happy. Genuinely happy. Exhausted most of the time, Nayt works crazy hours and I am juggling a lot of hats, but life truly is amazing.

Reflecting back on the last few years, there have been some really rough patches. Moments of complete and utter sorrow, times of real darkness. There have also been some magnificent highs, pure joy, and I feel like it has all brought us to this place we are now.

I am not closer to 30 than I am to 20. I know what I want out of life, who I want to be, who I want to spend my time with and it is wonderful to be here.

But I firmly believe that despite of anything I do, it is all because of God and I can 100% say that right now we are living in his will. When life got really rough I completely abandoned myself to him and I feel like this moment in time is my eden, my garden of peace, and I am rejoicing in it. However in moments of peace it is so easy for me to forget to keep God center. Why is that? Why is it that when things are rough I can easily see God working, I can cling to him, trust him and obey but the moment things calm down God slowly slips back into my pocket? I trust him and praise him but he isn't constantly on my mind as I live my day to day life?

Today, I am trying to keep God just as close to me in the good times as I do in the bad. He is equally real, equally powerful and I am trying hard to enjoy the sweet time without the panic that comes with the lows.

I know that fairy tales don't last forever and that he gives us those hard times to remember when they come again, but he also brings these moments of good so we can recharge, reboot, and renew our souls. I am enjoying my renewing. And I want to live life to the fullest and hear someone say they saw Jesus in me. That is my prayer today in the peace, in my fairy tale.