The mommy switch

I think any mommy can tell you that their is a switch in your brain that goes from mommy to wife and lover. And it is not easy to switch off. I feel like I am stuck in perpetual mommy mode, and that is not such a good thing when you are trying to make another baby.

This morning, it was wonderful. Nayt was romantic and lovey dovey which is rare. We were hugging and kissing and getting it on, and.... Drew starts screaming. It is so hard to focus just on Nayt when I hear my baby boy over the monitor. It is ok for him to cry for the 15 minutes it takes us to have alone time. And he had been a pill all morning. Up at 6 sans a diaper, I gave him a bottle and a new diaper, up again at 7 and we heard him whine from 7 to 8 when I gave him another smaller bottle. And he woke up again when we started to get it on. I feel so drained.

But back to the mommy switch, I am so thrilled because we are looking at going on a romantic get away for our 2nd anniversary in September. We are going to leave Drew with my mom and for the first time in over two years (counting pregnancy) I will be apart for him for a night. And just with my husband. I can not wait. We are looking for a bed and breakfast or a nice hotel, hopefully on the beach, and if we don't wont to get out of bed, we don't have to. I already feel relaxed just thinking about it. I just need a break.

On the flip side, I am so worried about leaving my baby boy. I have never been apart from him, and it breaks my heart to think of someone else putting him to bed, feeding him, and taking care of him the way I do. Being a mommy is so much work, but I love every moment of it. Even when I am losing my mind, even as he is screaming because he didn't get what he wanted, it is worth it. As I write this he is slowly dropping bananas and eggs on the floor. (I actually think he is trying to balance them on the edge of the high chair) And he looks at me and laughs, my heart melts even though I know I will have to clean the floor up in an hour. I just love him so much!