Secondary IF

What is Secondary IF? 


The basic defined as a woman who is unable to conceive or carry for term after a natural and successful pregnancy of one or more children.


What caused Secondary IF? 


Some times, the causes are unknown, “It may be that a woman and her partner have had sub fertility, or a woman has diminished ovarian reserve, where as time goes on it’s like having menopause at a very young age,” Barbara Collura, Executive Director of RESOLVE Or as in my case, it could be that there was an underlying health problem like PCOS that was not severe enough when we had Drew to make a problem but that the hormones of pregnancy changed that.


Why Secondary IF sucks


I think for me, the hardest thing is not feeling like I have anyone to talk to about it. I feel selfish complaining, when there are so many amazing women out there who have yet to have 1 baby, and here I am with 1 beautiful healthy baby, when so many people would kill for that. I know Nayt gets so frustrated, he wants another one, but my amazing husband has gone from longing for another one to being ok if it never happens. I am not there yet. 


The original dx knocked me on my butt. I expected to get pregnant as easily this time as I did last time. I feel like less of a woman because I can not do this. But again, I feel selfish. 


I think also because I know the joys of pregnancy and motherhood, that doesn't help. Again, selfish. 


I want to see my son as a big brother. He is such a loving little man, and it really hurts my heart to think about not giving him a little brother or sister to love and play with. I wanted my kids close, and the longer it takes, the farther apart they will be. I was so jealous of the 2 years between my brother and sister compared to my 4 and 6 years, I want him to have things in common. 


And the thing that scares me the most about it all, is that unless we win the lotto or something, if clomid does not work, we will just have to pray my body does it naturally. We will not go beyond that, so we will be done. The journey over. 


Please don't get me wrong, I am counting my blessings ever day. On paper, we shouldn't have Drew. He is my miracle baby, but please God, can I ask for just one more, and if not, please give me the strength to deal with it. 


For more info check out: http://www.resolve.org/diagnosis-management/infertility-diagnosis/secondary-infertility.html