The other side of the pregnancy...

I am diabetic. And I am pregnant. Its a very livable thing, but its frusterating and it is scary. I can not give in to every little craving, when I eat, I have to think about how it is going to effect on the baby. I can't just not eat, even when things sound nasty, because them my blood sugar gets haywire and that is not good for the baby either. Nayt is really good about making sure I eat and watching what I eat, but I just want the junk I want!

The threat of being on insulin is constantly hanging over my head, I am so scared to be on it. I don't want to give myself the shots, I just don't! I changed my diet, I lost the weight, I did everything right and my doctor still tells me it will happen, the question is just WHEN. I feel sick just thinking about it.

Also, being diabetic is not cheap at all. My test strips alone cost 25 bucks for 50, and I am now taking my sugars 4 times a day for the next 236 days = 944 pokes, I will need to buy 19 fifty test trip packs at 25 bucks a pop =495 dollars worth of test strips in the next nine months. That is not counting the metformin or if I need insulin.

And don't get me started on food. Have you bought good healthy sugar free crap?

Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to be pregnant, and I know it will all work out, I am just terrified of something happening to the baby and it being MY fault because I ate the wrong thing or I let it get out of control. I know high blood sugar can cause birth defects or breathing problems.  Please God, this is my miracle baby let him or her be ok?