What a fail-tastic weekend

Ok I am not sure if Fail-tastic is a real word, but I am going to use it, because it sums up this shitty weekend perfectly.

 I think most of it is my fault by putting so much hope and excitement into the Christmas party we were heading too. But when you hear a Christmas party at a golf course with Prime Rib dinner you think something really nice. I even googled the "Quail Ridge Golf Course" to be sure I was dressing appropriately. (come to find out I googled some golf course in Michigan.) but the place I was looking at was beautiful, hosted weddings and parties all the time and my outfit would have been perfect. However, I should have know better because this is God Damn Baker City, and Bi-Mart FFS. So after spending over an hour getting all dolled up, Nayt pulled up, took one look at me and told me I was over dressed. And boy was I over dressed. Everyone was in jeans. I was in this adorable little dress number. And the golf course was a glorified bar, the tables didn't even have table clothes. It would have been awesome if I wasn't picturing this classy little get together.

And then yesterday we had a great morning together, enjoying our time as a family, and decided to risk going to a movie theater with Drew. We KNEW it was a gamble, but we did it anyways. Not even half way through I had to leave with Drew. Nayt got pissed and I told him to stay and finish the movie, and he said fine and slammed the door in my face, like it was my fault. By the time he got home, I was so mad at it all that I knew if he said one single thing I would blow up. And when he refused to kiss Drew goodnight, I lost it and ask him if he was going to "be one of those parents." He shut down, and told me it was lucky he was even still in the house. I want to take those words back so bad. I know I hurt him, but he doesn't see how he was acting is childish and not fair to Drew at all. I don't think Nayt is a bad dad, in fact i think he is an amazing dad. He makes so many sacrifices for us, I just don't know where that came from. It kills me knowing I hurt him. I started to cry and he didn't even care. He refused to talk and even this morning he was being quiet. I don't know what to do. I hate fighting, regardless of how often it is. We have a great marriage, I just don't know what else to do.

And I know it isn't all my fault, he has his head as far up his butt last night that I don't think he even knew what he was doing, but I still can't beat the fact that I said something so cruel to him, that it could have damaged something. Which I know isn't true, but its how I feel right now. We should have just gotten a stupid Christmas tree...