SPD

My new reading.

No, the doesn't stand for "Super Positive Day" but for "Sensory Processing Disorder. I will be the first to admit I don't know much about it, but I am learning and learning fast.


we met with a occupational therapist who felt confident in dx Drew with Sensory Processing Disorder. Poor kid scored in all 4 areas of sensory processing, but she told me that it wasn't all in my head which makes me feel better. She talked with me for a good 2 hours and just observed Drew, how we interacted, how we handled things, and most importantly a full blow blow up. Thank you God. We will be starting him on a sensory diet and doing therapy with him as much as possible, and once school starts we will work with their occupational therapist as well.

I asked her about autism and she is also torn. Some things scream autistic other things not so much. I just want to know. I can not tell you how frustrating this "he may, he may not" thing is.

At least with a solid SPD dx we are one step closer to getting the help that we need. Even if it means more therapy appointments. Also, the more I read about SPD the more interesting it becomes. Seriously explains SO much about both my kids. 


I just feel frustrated with EI,  I have been asking them if they think he has sensory issues and they are just now getting us in to see the OT? Really? We only have one month with Infant Toddler, less if we end up moving. It really makes me want to bang my head on the wall, especially since they said they suspected if for a while. 


Also, this "does he have PDD or doesn't he" thing is really starting to get to me. I don't want to paste a label on him at all, but on the other side of that coin, if he gets a PDD dx, than we can get more help. Let's face it, medical stuff is expensive and if I have to pay OOP for everything I don't know how much we can do. We are limited. I know we have the school, but who knows how much help he will get if we end up in a bigger district. 


All of this to say I feel like we are making slow but stead progress. 


Let's talk about emotions for a second, I am an emotional person after all. I tell myself that another dx is good. It means we are getting somewhere to get the help we need. It just hurts my heart. All I want for him is to be a happy, healthy and foreword moving kid. I don't want to see him hurt, bullied, or labeled because of something he has no control over. I also feel confused and over whelmed. There is so much out there that places the blame on me as a mother (because you know, we don't have enough as it is) that maybe somehow this is my fault. It's so hard to not play the "what if" game. What if I could have breast fed? Taken better care of myself while pregnant, been a better mom? I am SO different with Alynn. I took my blood sugars serious, I breast fed her for 7 weeks, I spend more time with her, hold her, and I wore her. Drew was always independent and I was depressed so as long as he was safe I bumped. (Aka thebump.com)  I can't even tell you what the first year of his life was like and it breaks my heart. And fuels my guilt. Alynn is just so normal. Surpassing milestones and just surprising us constantly. It is hard to not compare. And it is scary to think about having a 3rd. Could I handle another one like Andrew? I don't know. 


He is making head way though. After a long talk with Nayt I have gotten stricter and he has gotten more realistic in his expectations so we are now both expecting exactly the same thing. Also, we redid our schedule and stick to it like our life depends on it, because lets face it, it does. 


I am excited to see where this journey takes us, who we meet on it, and how it changes me as a mother and person. But mainly, I hope this journey takes us to a place that Drew is happy and content. That is all I want.