Mommy war

I am no stranger to the concept of “mommy wars”, and if you have spent any time on the web you should be pretty aware of what it is. I was often on the bump and it was something you’d see everyday, and I found myself getting sucked into the drama and becoming a mcjudgypants too.  You see it everywhere. The working moms vs the stay at home moms, the breast feeders vs the formula feeders, I could go on. You understand what I am talking about.

 But this week it really hit my facebook news feed on two separate occasions, and it makes me sad.

Being a mom is hard enough without having your so called “friends” making digs at you. I was talking with my dear friend just this morning bemoaning that fact that this is a hard job and just when you think you have if figured out something happens which makes you step back and rethink how you are doing things. It’s what I had to do this last week as the stress of the last couple of months made me question turning in my stay at home mom hat for a working mom hat. (Not that it matters but after a lot of talking I am going to continue staying home because Drew needs me now more than ever, but that is neither here nor there.)

 It does not matter if you are a working mom, a stay at home mom, a single mom, a military mom, a dad, or anything in between, raising and making choices for your child is tough. It is emotional. And it takes support. So why is it that moms are so quick to pass judgment on other moms. Aren’t we all just trying to get through the day, taking care of our families in whatever way we feel is best? It isn’t that hard to understand. We need to support each other, not tear each other down. And if you can’t find something to agree on, don’t say anything at all.

Yet yesterday I was blown away over the fact that some women were claiming that by sending your child to preschool you are being a lazy mom and don’t love your child. When I stated that I felt it was best for my family and they can do whatever with theirs someone chimed in and said that if you send your child to preschool you are getting government help, and then it continued to get worst. Mainly that as a SAHM I don’t love my child because I am sending him away from the home for 8 hours a week. Forget the fact that it is the healthiest thing for him. The final comment I saw before blocking and deleting people was someone posting a verse in defense of not sending your child to preschool. How does that add up?!

 All of this coming from Christian mothers. That just adds insult to injury. I firmly believe that the God who is getting me through this isn’t a God who would appreciate the judgment and criticism over something as simple as sending your child to preschool. I was never going to change their view and that is fine because everyone is entitled to their own ideas, but I just hated that they were ripping me apart over something that had zero effect on their families. Let me do what I want with my kids, you do what you want with yours. I don’t love my kid any more or any less then you do if I do something different.

And here is another, you never know what is going on in that persons life. Maybe their child has development delays that prevent him from ever interacting with other children, or possibly that mom who is not paying attention to her screaming kid has had a hard day but 90% of the time she is active, fun, and plays all day long. You never know.

Who cares that I feed my kid a hamburger patty with cheese when he won’t eat anything else? Who gives a crap if my daughter has her ears pierced or not, and it is no one’s business if I send my kids to preschool.

See, a mommy war over something stupid. And it is wrong. I try to stay out of it because I want my children to learn acceptance, love and living life without judgments in every area. If I as a mother can’t treat other moms that way, then how am I going to teach my children that? Nothing is worse than a “Do as I say, not as I do” parenting attitude. I know I could talk about it until my face is blue and haters are just going to hate, but really what kind of example is that leaving for your children. Think about it.