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| Bride over the Wishka River |
We have gone through a few different hang ups throughout the years (please tell me I am not the only one). The Army phase, the Post Partum Depression phase, The Trouble trying to conceive with PCOS and Diabetes phase, The troubled Pregnancy phase, The Obsession over a new move part 1 phase, the Sensory Processing/Autism phase... Our first few months here were amazing because I truly felt at peace for the first time in a long time.
This time last year we were agonizing over if Nayt was going to leave bi-mart for police work, or if we were going to get moved to Aberdeen. I actually wrote this around this time last year. Clearly we know what happened. And all of this is true:
- This move would put me closer to my parents (Yay!)
- This job will make money REALLY tight.
- This is not really what he wants to do for the rest of his life, but he would be happy for about a year. I know my husband.
in August Nayt was informed that his company is opening up a new chain of stores under a different name. They would be a outdoor gear/farming equipment/feed store. They would sale camping gear, hunting stuff, and anything someone would need for farming. The kicker, the store is located in Walla Walla, Wa. The very place we got engaged, married, had Drew and where he started his career 6 years ago. Truthfully the idea of going back would be a Cinderella story of sorts. A young janitor turned manager turned store manager of a brand new pilot store. The thing movies are made of.
Anyhow, he put in his letter of interest in September. I have been obsessed since. 4 months of thinking about it. It truly can't be good for my health. I make plans and in my head I mentally add "if we are here" but I was able to get distracted. Until a week or so ago when things started to pick up. Since then, every waking moment, ever conversation, everything it about the move. Nayt has been having multiple conversations with the guys down in Head Quarters, hearing form different district managers, asked numerous questions. Clearly, they are trying to finalize things. If he gets the store we will be going to down in January to hopefully settle on a place while he interviews people with him moving in with his mom until March when our lease here is up. Things will move fast when they get going, but in the mean time it moves like molasses. If he doesn't get it, it's going to crush him, and I am not looking foreword to that.
Maybe because of this, and maybe because of it nearly the end of the year which always makes me examine life, I had to ask myself what I truly want beyond the "I want my family happy and healthy", but on a profoundly personal level. How would moving affect that? What do I want?
I want a new house. I want a house that I am proud of. I want something pretty. I want my own bathroom, a bigger closet, a nice kitchen, and some place that isn't right on the river so you have to wash the walls once a week to keep the mold down. (Yeah, no one warned me about that part of living here off the Wishka River). I think that is the biggest selfish draw for moving, a pay raise that opens up a different market of homes. And boy are there some I'd be happy to make my own!
I want to Continue to get Healthy. I feel like I am stuck and I really want that to chance over the new year. I have a wedding to be in this coming June and I really don't want to be this
I want to feel connected. I don't know how to go about doing this. I want to take Alynn to class, have friends, to not feel so gosh darn lonely.
I want a second car. No regrets getting our truck, but the down side was trading in my jeep. Having limited spending money and no car makes getting connected a tad difficult. A move would not only increase our income, it would also get us a second car.
I want to be involved in my families lives. its hard to do living even an hour away, how much harder would it be if I were 4 hours?!
I want to do more with my photography. I got into photography and said I didn't want to make it a career, but you know what, I love doing it. It's a passion and I think am good enough to get more business than I do. I still want to finish college and get a job in health care, but in the mean time I would really love to be busier with photography than I am. Plus making a bit more on the side would be pretty snazzy. Its just so gosh darn hard to do. Everyone thinks they are a photographer. Seriously.
I am sure I could come up with more but those are the main things. I think I want to move to Walla Walla because I am tired of moving. I am tired of feeling like each winter we wait with bated breath for a move. I am ready to mentally make myself at home, to truly get some friends, and to move on to the next chapter of my adult life. I really want a pretty new house. I really want to see Nayt doing something he is so excited about, and as a store manager. I really want the pay raise. Plus if I am being completely honest I love the adventure that comes with it.
I don't want to leave western Washington. Anything pass Yakima, while pretty, is not the rich green that I love. Walla Walla at least is beautiful in its unique rolling hills, winery, farm land way. I like being near the cascades, the ocean, the cities. it breaks my heart to move away from my parents and sister. Like crushes me. it would be nice to get close to my sister in laws and nieces and nephews though. Why can't I be like some people who have both sides of their family within an hour?!
I have just been praying for God to open or close doors and give me peace regardless, but its hard when you have such conflicting emotions. If only you got a preview of the next year.
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| Walla Walla County. Beautiful in its own way. |
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| Bridge in Aberdeen Leading to South Side |
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