This is my year

2014. I have actually not been looking foreword to it. I have a feeling it is going to be a tough, growing year riddled with moments of great joy. Anyhow...

As we embark on this year, I have been hearing about a lot of people's new year resolutions to be better people, to lose weight, get healthy, stop cussing and do more for others. This year I am going to be a black sheep. This year, I am going to focus on ME and my family.

Hear me out, anyone who knows me knows that I have a heart the size of Texas. I love, worry and care about people to much that I often put myself and my family on the back burner. This year, I am not going to do that. This year, I am going to invest time and energy into making ME a better person and not focus on changing people around me. This year, I want my extra energy to go into my kids, not someone on the other side of a computer screen.

You see, life is so short to be focused on investing yourself in people who either don't care or who wont change. Year after year of trying to help someone change and they are still doing the same crazy stuff, its time to move on. Love them for who they are, learn to live with it or walk away. This isn't high school anymore and by spending so much time investing in other people's drama, I am missing out on the beautiful life around me. I can't afford to do that anymore.

So this year, I am removing drama. I am slowly removing toxic people, I am going to stop spending all my energy on people who don't care about me, and I am going to nurture and grow the healthy relationships in my life. I am going to say no and hold my ground. And I am going to love and pray for people more. By removing myself, it is truly easier to love someone from afar, to see them for who they are, and point them in the right direction. But the fake relationships are not worth it. Those people you keep on facebook just to watch the train wreck? unfriended. More phone calls are screened. I am being wiser about who gets the majority of my time, and this year that will be my kids. Chances are this is my last true year as a full time stay at home mom and I don't want to miss a second.

Maybe I am being selfish, but I simply want to be happy this year. I want to feel drama free, and do things that make me happy. I want to not be glued to something that needs to be plugged in or charged, even if it means putting my phone down. I want to sing and dance and show my kids the world. Life is to short and they are only this age for a short time. And being happy means being ok with my body where its at, rolls and all. It means working out because it makes me happy not because I am fat. Wearing clothes that make me feel good. And just simply enjoying things that I like without constantly worrying about it like watching a stupid tv show, drinking wine or having a piece of chocolate.

So call me selfish. Call me unchristian. I won't be mean, condemn or judge. I wont stop caring for others, and I wont stop being there for people who need me, but I also will not let other peoples problems consume my life, I won't carry someone else's baggage for them and I will stop giving everything of myself for someone who doesn't return the favor.



Bring it 2014. Bring it.

This year, it is all about me for a very good reason. This is the year of my family. And I can't wait.