Boys day (part 2)

So i wasnt kidding when i said they wanted to get together ever freakin' day off that nayt has. Needless to say I am sitting at home, hanging with Drew while Nayt is off in La Grande. I am trying my very very very best to have a good additude. But its really not working. I guess i've finally pin pionted how it makes me feel, like i am traping him here, and when he is with chris it makes him wish for the days of freedom before kids, before marriage. Not that there is anything wrong with it, I mean there are moments I miss the freedom that comes with out our bundle of joy, but at the same time you got to learn to deal. And it kinda hurts that when i ask him to just be home before its to late he rolls his eyes and doesnt seem to care that i want to see him on his only day off for like almost 2 weeks. grrr. And I think the other thing that is bugging me is I want to get out. I havent had a day just to me. I've gone out for maybe an hour. I havent seen a girlfriend WITH out drew, ever. As nayt was leaving the house i told him i want to go to la grande by myself next time, and he laughed. seriously. I wasnt kidding. He asked me what is wrong, really it should be to hard to figure out there, my darling unobservant husband. lol

I think i am finally at the piont were I am so damn tired of making other people happy its making me misrable. i try to keep nayt happy, and in the process i am forgetting about myself. I love my husband, I love my son but sometimes i guess i just feel forgotten. It sucks big time. I know they both love me, I have no doubt of that, but i guess i just want to get my hair done, I want to have me time, I want to take a bath without Drew screaming, I want to sleep in with out drew in bed... I hate feeling like this, this horrible baby blues. It just doenst help when i know my husband is running around with his buddy, playing and having a goodtime while i am at home with the baby, cleaning.

I just want to curl up and cry. I just want to forget about everything, and the worst part is, nayt has no idea how i feel. and I dont even know how to tell him. What do i say? I am tired of taking care of your son?? Which isnt even true... i love my baby boy. he is amazing, but i am tired. Physically, emotional and mentally. But i will just get up, pick up the living room, again. I will put on some good music, have a good cry, maybe eat some fatty food and pretend to once again be all right by the time nayt gets home. I know if i pretend long enough it will happen. :) Dont get me wrong, I am happy, I love my life. its actually the best its ever been, we are happily married, we have a happy, healthy baby boy, we actually have money in the bank, a cute house, and he has a good job and I love being a stay at home mom. Its just there are moments I get worn out and I am about there. I need to be rejuvinated. But i will... dont worry about me.

Oh so on a lighter note, Drew is amazing. He is totally rocking the baseball cap lately, and he looks so adorable. We are still constantly getting stopped and told he is a doll! And it was alot of fun yesterday because I met with my friend shelley and she had her friend there and so between the three of us we had a 18 month old, a year old, a 6 month old and my 3 month old. Next week we are throwing in another 1 year old and a newborn! I love seeing how different each age group is. I cant wait to give drew a brother or sister! Oh and like it or not, I am so decorating Drew's room this next weeks!! :D