homesick

So today i am feeling rather homesick. i havent seen my mom or dad or brother and sister since june, and its the longest i've ever gone. And I finally have a good relationship with them, and have given them their first grandson, and they dont even know him! it kills me. Or I'll look at all of nick and katie's pictures on facebook and i have come to realize I dont know them either! it breaks my heart. all I want to do is spend a weekend with my family. I love being on my own, i love having my own family, but i still miss mine too... i was with them for 18 some odd years, and i normally see them ever three months, and that is the balm that keeps me going, knowing i'll see them ever 3 months, but now... well... i have no idea. We only have one car, and soon the weather is going to make the 8 hour drive to seattle quite hard. I am thinking that if i can get to portland so could they... but i just dont know how or when. it sucks.

and then nayt is at work again, and i am lonely. I love drew but you cant really hold a heart to heart conversation with a three month old. Our phone doesnt dial out, so i basically have to depend on other people calling me. Geez, I need to pull my self out of the depression, but its really hard when all i want to do is wallow in my own saddness. Blah. I think next week, one of the days nayt is working i am totally going retail therapy and getting my hair done. And he can just get over it... or i am going to start our decorating projects. I just need to DO something... this whole clean, change a diaper, walk to the library, walk to bi mart thing is getting old. Thats what i'll do, I am starting Drews room, painting and decorating... it will be SO cute! Ok I feel a bit better now... :D