Guy day....

So I so dont want to be up right now! lol Nayt is still asleep and Drew refuses too, so there for I am laying on the sofa listening to the fishtank and my son play. I am SO sleepy though. I dont think I ended up going to bed until 12:30 which for me lately is really late! lol

So yesterday was a very good, very interesting day. We had planned on going into La Grande for a few days now, and the morning started full of promise, nayt was going to hang out with Chris and I was going to hang out with Maelee and Brittney, get my hair done and do mommy things. We got going pretty early and the whole way there nayt was acting romantic and grabbing me and kissing me while driving and it was wonderful. I was in an awesome mood, he was great and Drew looked adorable. But alas, the moment i dropped him off at Chris' he changed. Alot. Suddenly I felt unwanted and in the way. They just stood next to the car while i was trying to get information out of them on what their plans were so i could make my plans, and when i said i was going to get my hair done, they both looked at me like i was nuts, and chris was like "that is such a waiste of money." and nayt was like "i know. dont do it." And I was almost in tears, getting my hair done is the ONE thing i wanted for my birthday, and Nayt knows i am excited about it. Dont freakin' get my hopes up just to dash it to the ground. that right there is the reason i dont like getting excited about anything anymore. it makes me so mad! Or the fact that Nayt can change the moment he gets with his guy buddies. and he wonders why i dont like them to hang out. I dont know, chris and his wife have a very odd relationship that is so different then ours. And he expects us to act like them, and i hate how I feel like Chris doesnt like me and drew at all. Apparently Nayt talked to him about that and he just said that he likes me, i am nice but he doesnt want to hang out with me because he just wants to see nayt. What ever. i am over it. He can do what ever he likes. i think the thing that just bites is that i actually used to like him. Now i think he is just acting like a prick. and nayt does to when they hang out. and they want to do it EVER day off of nayts now. No way. i will throw i fit.

Well anyways vent aside, I left nayt and cried/drove/got lost out to maelee's. And the moment i saw her it was much better. It was so cute, we put both the kids on her bed and they just stared at each other like "what is it and why is it making noices!" lol they were so cute together. We headed into town for some retail therapy, met her crazy mother-in-law (poor maelee and brittney lol) and then headed down town to look for a saucer for drew. Well I found one, but i wasnt so sure it would fit in the car, so i called my husband to get his idea, only to be yelled at, again. I was so hurt, i cant even begin to explain. We desided we could actually get it in the car upon further examination, so my husband's yelling at me was for not. And it was halarious trying to get that thing in my little 2 door focus with two carseats, two strollers and two women. Pretty sure people were laughing at us as they drove by. We also went to this awesome little second hand store for babies, and I got drew the cutest little outfit. My son is so stylish! he is now rocking jeans, a hoodie and a baseball cap.

We looked at rings, then went for coffee because all four of us needed a break and a drink, and then we hit up wal-mart after dragging the kids out again to look at cars. At walmart it was starting to get dark, and I still had no clue of what the men were doing, so needless to say because i still had a 40 min drive there and back to maelees' house, i needed to know, because I knew megan probly didnt want visitors or i would have assumed i would have been contacted to see if I wanted to come over. Well, nayt proceeded to once again yell at me and say they werent done yet. But because i knew they wouldnt tell me 45 mins in advance when they'd be done, we figured it would be best to started headed back to her house. And on cue half way there, i get a call saying they are done, he's ready, lets go. Yeah you can freakin' wait for me. I drop maelee off, meet her family, and then head back, the whole way going 65 because i know he is going to be hoppin' when i get there. And I was right. I dont get invited in, hardly get talked to, and we leave. I am very mad at this piont, ready to go home, and trying to avoid a fight. We get to wal-mart and nayt is very grumpy. So i ask him why and all hell breaks lose. We fight the whole way in wal-mart, get in the car and have at it again.

So apparently I called to much, i invaded guy time. Why cant i just leave him alone and enjoy my time alone. He needs space, why cant i leave him and drew on his days off? I do this everytime. Dont cry there is nothing to cry about. I pissed Chris off by texting to much (4 times is to much so i can make plans? yeah.) I didnt need to go out to cove. thats to far. I waisted gas. i ask to many stupid questions. i tried to explain myself, i tried to tell him i feel unwanted when he hangs with chris. i know he needs guy time. i know he works hard but i didnt think our life was that bad. i cook, clean, do his laundry, take care of his son, only to feel like i am disrepected when i call to ask him if i can spend money. when i am just trying to get a feel of what the day looks like. he should know that with two babies you cant just go by the seat of your pants. but that just made him angrier. i would love to give him guy time if he didnt act like a jerk. am i just just crazy? I just dont like being treated like yesterdays news. a little co-opperation would have been nice. whatever. i am done. i love my husband, just sometimes i want to kick him.

so then we were ok, get home, talk a bit, and desides he wants a $50 set of disk golf stuff. i cant get my hair done cuz its a waist of money but he can drop 50 bucks on disks he'll use maybe twice a month? so i went to bed.

so now here i am, my self esteme in the hole feeling fat, ugly, and unwanted while he is still on his high from his wonderful guy day, completely obblivious to the fact that he really hurt me yesterday. i am not going to make a big deal, i am going to try to let it roll off my back... but you know it hurts. and i dont think he even realizes how much he changes, how he acts to me sometimes. thank God for maelee... i dont know what i would have done without her.