Parenthood

Our Journey into parenthood wasnt planned, wasnt expected but its been wonderful. Let me start at the beginning:

It wasnt long after i met nayt that I knew he was "the one", i think it was somewhere inbetween dancing back behind Inlow hall beneath the stars, working together all night, and taking care of him when he got so drunk he almost died, and somewhere in that, i relized that he was the man that i wanted him to be the father of my children.
We started talking about kids not to long after moving in together. we both knew we wanted them and sooner rather than later. and he told me that if he ever had a boy, he wanted to name him Andrew David, which i thought was an adorable name for a boy. After we got engaged, we started talk more and more about kids, then in September we got married and made the choice to get off birth control, because we were under the impression that because of the pill i was on, it would take 6 months to a year to get it all out of my system. Perfect timing we thought. Nayt would be out of bootcamp, we'd be settled, things would work out nicely. Durring the first month of our marriage I was consious of my cycle, and timing of firtility and such. It was also at this time one of friends from college called, which was rather random as we had only hung out a few times, but she needed advice about moving with her then boyfriend. (crazy how one phone call came form a forever friendship! :P) We talked quite a bit, then one night she called/texted (i honestly dont remember now! lol) and said she was pregnant. I was extremely excited for her, and just slightly jealous. Which made me think i did in fact want a baby right then and there. But we werent really trying, just doing our thing.

As october continued, I started feeling a bit odd and i saw my feeling reflected in Maelee was she told me all her highs and lows of the first trimester, but i thought that there could be no way i was pregnant, that would be way to ironic. But there is something in you that just seems to know, and by the end of the month i was sure of it; tired all the time, nausiaded by smells and some foods, sore boobs... and three 1/2 weeks late. But nayt refused to believe it, i dont think he wanted to get excited over nothing, plus we were not in any place to have a kid, heck we could hardly take care of ourselves!

But on November 1st I caved to both maelee and my couriosity and bought a pregnantcy test. I waited til nayt got home and then made a big no no and did the test right then and there. We waited with bated breath, waiting for two pink lines. At first there was only one... and then slowly a second line started to show... and i started to cry. We were going to be parents...

Come to find out i was already 8 weeks pregnant, and we were due the beginning of july. The first trimester continued slowly, with out to much problems. I wasnt to sick, and everything looks healthy. We were so excited. It was durring this time we were kicked out of our first apartment, and had to move in the middle of one of the worst snow storms Walla Walla had seem in a long time. And it was also durring this time that the national guard fell through the first time. At 14 weeks, i felt my first little flutter. I was so excited to feel the baby moving, and I didnt know you could love someone so much who wasnt even born yet!

Second trimester came right along with Christmas, our first as man and wife, and looking at the pictures you can see i am showing just a tad. At 20 weeks in Febuary we had the fatefull appiontment to see if it was a boy or a girl. I took nayt with me and we were both nervous, we wanted a boy so bad! But we'd come to the piont where if it was a girl or a boy. (maelee had found out the month before that she was having a girl, which made me kinda want a girl too...) As we watched the screen in the room, we were both searching for a tiny little penis... and then there in between his legs was a little thingy! we were so excited! Nayt actually went home and called everyone saying that we had a penis!! lol We were also going back and forth constantly whether or not nayt was leaving for boot camp. it was frusterating to go back and forth. and not knowing anything. Would he be there when the babys born? is he leaving? will we have money for a baby?

At about 26 weeks, I started having agonizing pain in my lower right side, at first we thought i was a miscarriage which scared me to death, and then we thought it was a bladder infection so we went to the doctors only to be told that they had no idea what was going. I spent two different days in the hospital trying to figure out what was going. Only to not find anything.

Third trimester, I was getting huge. Drew was kicking all the time, and he would often kick nayts ear while he sang "take me out to the ball game". They also figured out i had gestational diabetes. Suddenly everything changed. Suddenly i was going to the doctors twice a month instead of once a month. Suddenly i was watching what i was eating, suddenly i knew the health of my baby wasnt a joke.

Then the stress test came, Maelee had Brittney, and I as ten times more excited for drew. and then the contractions started coming... every 5 mins at 37 weeks. We rushed to the hospital, only to be told to go home, no deal. I was getting excited when knew it was close and i was so ready to hold drew. We has to more false alarms, and then on June 30th I was induced.

We got to the hospital early that morning, and i had an early epidural. Screw the pain, i wanted drugs! lol The nurse "accedenly" broke my water at 7:30 am, and my contractions started to pick up, way to much. So they slowed my pitocin down, and my body would slow down too. I wouldnt dialate. I started having a reaction to the epidural at about 3 pm, and from then on i dont remember much until they told me at 8 pm i was still only at 4 cm. And it was in our best interest to have a c-section. I watched nayt as fear suddenly ingulfed us. He was suddenly talking to the doctors about the risks and reasons. And before I knew it we were being pushed from the room down the elevator to the OR. Nayt followed a few minutes later, and was there the whole time, talking to me and calming me down. They called him over and he got to cut the cord, and no one would tell me what was going on. I was so scared. I wanted to know what my baby looked like, i wanted to know if he was ok. And when nayt finally brought him over to me, thats when the tears started. I only saw him for a second, and I was already in love. They took him away then, and focused on me. I was freezing, and i waiting in recovering for about an hour. I had them constantly call up to the nursery, I wanted to know about my baby. They told me he was a healthy 7 lbs 6 oz baby boy. I was so happy. When they finally took me to my postpartum room I was met by my husband, my mom and my son. Nayt handed him over to me, and I remember staring at our son, he was so perfect. I dont know if I became a mom in that instant, or when i first saw those lines, but i knew that from then on i would always have a piece of my heart walking around.

The nights in the hospital proved to be the hardest, I couldnt lift him out of his bed, I was hurting, and breastfeeding wasnt working. I was told by a mean nurse that if i didnt feed him with a bottle he would die, I wouldnt produce milk and he wouldnt nurse. It was the scarest moments of my life, I prayed that God wouldnt take my baby. But everything turned out ok. Finally 4 days later we brought him home. We were so proud.

Being a mom is the most amazing, challenging, rewarding job i have ever had, its been 2 1/2 months now, and I still stare at Drew and wonder over how amazing he is. He looks like both of us, I see so much of his daddy. But i see me too. I cant believe he is mine, and when he smiles at me, I swear i see rainbows. his coos and smile make the sleepless nights worth it, the way he stares at you like you are a hero makes all the poopy diapers, spit up and stress seem like nothing. When he curls up against me like i am the only one thing in the world that matters to him i feel like i could fly. I love this new life, this adventure of carseats, play toys, tiny clothes and bottles. I adore this little man, and I still cant believe the gift God has given us. What did I ever do to diserve my little guy? I know we'll make mistakes, but we try our best, and I plan on giving him the world. He is my life. My heart. I love him so much,

"Before you were concieved i wanted you, before you were born I loved you, before you were here an hour I'd die for you." You are my world my little prince.