Mixed feelings

So I finally took a pregnancy test, and the results suprised me, negitive. And I cried. Seriously. I cried. And it didnt help that when i told my mom and dad they were both like "oh good!" WTH? But I still havent started my period, so if i dont in another week and still feel pregnant i am going to take another test. But i was really really sad that baby number 2 wasnt on the way. So... i think i am not going to take my birthcontrol and see what happens, because a, I still might be, b if i am not on the pill hopefully things will get back on track, a c, if i do get pregnant i now know we would both be ok with it!

Also I think we are still going to be getting a new car. We have talked about it and talked about it, and we feel that it is a good idea, we are both have back problems and getting in and out of the back seat of our little car is really upsetting me back, and the way nayt has to sit to drive with drew's seat behind him is aggrivating an old football issue he has. Also, the Subaru is a much more realible winter car, (plus it has heated seats AND heated windshield wipers and fluid, how cool is that!) It also holds its value better then the focus, the trade in value of our 08 focus is 9K, the trade in value for an 06 outback: 11K! and that with more miles! Also subarus run FOREVER! so this 06 will last long after out focus hits the dust! I am excited. Its kinda an old person car, but it is made for off roading, and the 06 model is sportier then some of the older models!

So I am also super excited for the holidays. not that we have alot planned, nor do have alot of money to spend on christmas, but there is something so special about this time a year, maybe its the tree, the stockings the music or the fact that i know the reason behind the season, but i love it!

I really do love my life though, the other day I had dinner in my pjs, with our wedding champane glasses filled with sparking cidar and just watched the tree and lights and played music. I didnt know that i could feel so beautiful with out showering for days, in my dirty old pants and a spit up covered sweatshirt, but nayt just has a way of making me not feel like a fat frumpy mom, but like a beautiful woman. Its rather nice!!