I am a mess

It's official, I am a freaking mess. I am just ready to hold Alynn and have her here. My down ward spiral really went crazy last week when we failed the NST which lead to extra monitoring up in labor and delivery. Talk about a moment of panic, thinking that maybe she'd be here today, how to tell Nayt what all to pack and bring to me, and the thought of "OMG i am so not ready!" The biggest plus was my amazing cousin was here so I had someone to watch Drew for me. I really don't know what i would have done without her.

Thankfully we were released a few hours later with a clean bill of health and I once again felt like we would make it all the way to the finish line. The rest of the week was full of excitement since we bought a new car for Naythan, relaxing and good times with Kristin. 

Fast foreword to yesterday. I was nervous about failing another NST so the hospital bag was in the back of the car, and we were all set "just in case". Since i have been on medication for my blood pressure it hasn't been an issue, and as of last week it was right in the 130s/80s range, even with the stress of the failed NST, so I wasn't worried at all. Jokes on me. It's high again, and this time I have protein in my urine. I have also been seeing spots, am swelling and have a head ache from hell. So it looks like pregnancy induce hypertension is turning into full on pre-eclampsia. YAY ME! 

I had a full blood panel done and I should be getting the results here in the next 2 hours and it should give us a good clue of what is going on. I also go back in on friday to get my pressure checked again. And if it is still high i am guessing Alynn will we a Cinco di Mayo baby and share a birthday either with Kristin or her Grandma. (Naturally, everyone in my family has to have a holiday birthday so this is only fate right?) 

Flame me if you want, but I am officially over being pregnant. I feel like I have done everything in my power to keep her in until term, which is today. I want nothing more then to go for a million walks, eat a ton of pineapple, have a ton of sex, something to get my water to break. Or worst still, one side of me is praying for really crappy blood work, just so they say she is better off outside then inside. The constant worry of something else going wrong and having no control over it is killing me. She isn't a big mover and it is getting harder to feel her. I just want her here. My labor buddy had a point last night and it sums up how I feel perfectly. "She is like a turkey. She is done now and is just browning for the extra 2 weeks." I will deal with a done un browned turkey, please and thank you.