What I have learned in 6 weeks

Honestly, since having Alynn I have been tested to the limit of both my physical, mental and emotion being, but in the past 6 weeks I have learned so much about Nayt and I, gained a lot of respect for my mom who made it look easy, and learned some new skills along the way. It has seriously been the best month and a half of my life. I love my munchkins so much. And even though this week has been a big challenge, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Just a run down of my lessons and discoveries with 2u2.

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I am mastering the fine art of multi-tasking. I can now wash dishes, comfort a  crying infant, entertain a toddler, talk on the phone, cook dinner and come up with a new business opportunity all at the same time without missing a beat.

I can shower, shave, do my make up and hair in 10 minutes or less. That is normally the time limit I have while both kids are happy content and sleeping.

I have become a pro at a well packed diaper bag. Who knew you could have 2 changes of clothes (Newborn AND 3T), enough snacks to feed an army of preschoolers, bottles, formula, diapers in two sizes, wipes, a sippy cup, a burp clothe, diaper changing pad, a moby wrap, sunscreen, my water bottle, wallet and  sunglasses all in one bottomless pit of a bag. AND I can find it all in a moment's notice.

I am learning what a zombie feels like. I never thought I would be able to function on 4 hours of sleep, and that is rarely in one set chunk. But you know what, I am doing it and I can still laugh and smile and enjoy myself. Granted I think I have left my cell phone in the fridge, put my car keys in the washer (better then the phone right?) dialed the wrong number more then once and I may have put on clothes inside out.

I am reminded that I married a great man. I seriously am blown away by my husband. I knew that when I married him he was a winner, but the past couple of weeks have totally reminded me of it. He has been such a big help with the kids. He has taken Drew over the moment he steps in the house, takes Alynn at night and keeps me sane. I don't know how he does it all with a smile. I know he works long hard hours and the last thing he wants to deal with at night is a wife who is losing her mind, a temper tantrum head banging toddler and a poopy baby, but he does. Plus he still kisses me like we were dating and holds me tight at night. I couldn't have asked for a better partner or father then him.

God made toddlers cute for a reason. Because if he didn't, they would never make it past the age of 2.

I have super human strength. Seriously! Who knew I could single handedly carry Drew, a car seat, two bags of groceries and a gallon of milk? (And I wonder why I am still sore and not healing right. gee... )

Laughter is really the best remedy. I laugh so I don't cry. Trying to find the humor in the fact that Drew can now undress himself fully and pee everywhere, or that he takes all my pots and pans out to use as stunt jumps for his ride on fire truck. (Seriously one of the funniest yet naughty things I have ever seen. He lined them all up and would ride of each one and clap.) Or that he figured out how to open his window and throw as many toys out aiming for the window well. Learn to see that life has a funny way of throwing you curve balls that you least expect and if you are not looking on the bright side it will hit you square in the face.

I will not apologize or feel guilty. I am doing the best I can, doing what I can and raising my kids that way we want too. It is what is right for US and if you don't like it then you can take it somewhere else. I formula feed because I have too, I still let Drew watch tv, and I have a beer at night with dinner. I am still trying to figure this out and I know I will make mistakes but I am trying my best and I think most days I do a darn good job of it. I haven't had any help since my mom left at 1 one PP. Nayt works 50 hours on a good week. I am exhausted but my kids are alive, my house is clean and dinner was cooked. I have nothing to feel bad about.

Love is huge. I was so worried I wouldn't love Alynn the same way I love Drew. My fears were so silly. I can not get over how big my love is. I can adore my husband, son and daughter. I look at Drew and my heart explodes with love for him and then I hold my precious girl and I don't know how much bigger my heart can grow. And it is that love that makes it easy to put up with the crying, tempers and lack of sleep. They are worth it and this stage will be a blink of an eye and one day I will not be crying because I am stressed but the tears will be because I want it back.

The second time around isn't nearly as scary. When Drew was a baby, I questioned everything I did with him. I rushed to him the moment he started to fussy and I freaked out when he started to scream. This time, if Alynn fusses a bit it doesn't bug me and I can continue what ever I am doing. And when she has a major melt down I think it is so cute and laugh. I know that is bad. I have become pretty immune to crying. Also, I took her out in public so much sooner, don't worry so much at night and don't freak out over every noise she makes.

Motherhood is the hardest, most rewarding and beautiful thing I have ever done. I realized this today standing in my living room that was cluttered with toys, my clothes were covered in spit up, my hair was a mess, dishes in the sink, the dog barking and laundry piled up in my bed room. But I was watching my two children "playing" together for the first time. I had pulled out the floor mat with toys dandling from it and Drew got down on his back to show Alynn how to play with them. And in that moment it was all worth it. I am so grateful for so many magical moments like that, and my day is scattered with them.

I am blessed beyond words. Life is crazy right now, but through it all I am so richly blessed. Both my kids are miracles, healthy and happy. My pregnancy wasn't a walk in the park, but from birth one Alynn has been a super star. Drew is settling in to the idea of a sister, and is adjusting much better then I expected. He is getting so handsome and smart, and his sister is so beautiful. I have a husband who loves me despite who emotional and bitchy I have been. Life isn't perfect by any means, but it is so perfect for me.